THIRD BLOG: NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU 🌸

I USED TO BELIEVE THAT BIRTHDAYS ARE SPECIAL...

It is the one day in every kid's life that they know they'll be happy, or at least, expect to. And I thought, that no matter how old one grows up, things would never change. I was wrong, of course.

Two decades later, I am finally let down. For the first time, nothing was special about my birthday. Everyone treated it like it was every other day—normal. We go out to eat, hang out with loved ones, the end. I began thinking... is this how birthdays are supposed to feel like? Have they always felt purposeless? 

And like every day, I was told what to do—how to dress, what to eat, where to go, reminding me that I've been nothing but a burden to the family, how to act, what to say, and more. Nothing's changed. I don't get to make the rules on my birthday. I'm not happy. Thinking that things will change is mostly a fool's dream. Whether you're as young as 6 years old or as old at 23, some things never change. Like birthdays.

One wish I had this year, though, is to feel whole. At least on my birthday, I hoped to feel happy and in control. At least on my birthday. AT LEAST... Ha! Alas, the wish never came true. It feels like I've been waiting for Christmas to come only to be let down by the revelation that Santa isn't real. And is he real?

Nevertheless, birthdays are a waste of time—a reminder that some people aren't loved. Yet on some days, it is a reminder that maybe, someone will come along and celebrate it with you. That hope! It's all I've ever dreamed of, all ONE ever hopes to have in their life. And maybe you will or maybe, you won't.

Birthdays exist to remind us that maybe, things will change. Just maybe. And you wait to see if it's true. For a kid, they usually do. As most believers will say, all you have to do is believe. Wait one month, a year, or a decade! It will come.

Do I still believe birthdays are special?

No. I think they're overrated. But for my younger cousins, at least for their sake, I also do. They get to be kids with a complete family, blessed with gifts, showered with adoration, and more. And I love that for them. We should never take away the joy of kids while we still can. Because when they grow up, they will have these memories to look back at when they feel like losing hope. Making them happy now is making them stronger in the future.

What about you? What is your birthday wish?

Until then, see you in my next blog, girlies! (And men.)